Tag: confused

Girl… Gone…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, autistic, badthings, catheter, CFS/ME, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, Gaming, grief, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, mixedfeels, numbness, outofhours, overwhelmed, pain, painsomnia, panic, personalinsights, PTSD, ptsd, Resentment, sad, scared, selfawareness, selfcare, sensoryoverload, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, techspecs, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset

I Require Resilience... Self-Sufficiency... To Claim My Own Space -- both in my own head and to others -- yet I Cannot seem to manage that even a Little Bit anymore... I Was Born With It... And I literally don't know how to live -- even exist -- without it... And B.O.Y. Am I Without It Now...

Changes…

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, bpd, chronic illness, confused, despairing, devestated, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, grief, Mental Health, miserable, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, stress, stressed, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset

 | 14°C | Brain so traumatised flashbacks are so very easy to trigger... So many things inside my head, burning it, terrorising it. Living with horrors, with so much actual real physical agony pain, the agony of emotions & Feels, I can't help the Symptoms of Trauma coming back to haunt me... 😢😣😔 The  chaos, … Continue reading Changes… →

Surviving Trauma with ASD

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, Asperger, aspie, chaos, confused, despairing, dignity, disability, dragondisappointment, drained, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, Ramblings

My Story... My Life... The Second Time My World Imploded into PTSD... When I was 34, literally my entire world fell apart. I was so ill I couldn’t move and was in 24/7 agony from Fibromyalgia, and after 2 years of this illness and 10 years together, my partner snapped and she sent me home … Continue reading Surviving Trauma with ASD →

A Different Physio Pain: When NTs Harm Without Consideration…

Posted on by delphinemusic in ASD, Asperger, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, disability, Fibromyalgia, Hemiplegic Migraine, Illness & Depression, Isolation, Mental Health, mobility problems, stress

I went to physio. I wish I hadn't. Even though it was technically a "good session" — productive, challenging, effective... It was not a good experience.

Anxiety & Chaos — The Antithesis of the Aspie Mind…

Posted on by delphinemusic in ASD, Asperger, chronic illness, disability, Fibromyalgia, Illness & Depression, Isolation, Mental Health, mobility problems, Ramblings

Anxiety and Chaos rules my mind. It feels like it's been long buried under mountains of agonising pain, sorrow, grief. Fibro-Fog, medication, and more and more Chaos and Anxiety. I can feel my mind still there, calling, struggling to be freed, to be heard... yet, there seems to be so little I can do about digging it back out.

All Pain, No Gain?

Posted on by delphinemusic in Asperger, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Illness & Depression, pain, Ramblings

It's easy to believe - too easy sometimes - that the actual entire universe is against you no mattter what you do. In fact, the more good you try and do, the more it punches you back in the face. Perhaps this is especially true if you're already struggling, and you just want that one … Continue reading All Pain, No Gain? →

Never-Ending Nightmare

Posted on by delphinemusic in Asperger, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Illness & Depression, Mental Health, pain, Ramblings

  I cannot even explain how exhausted I am. Meltdown after meltdown – horrific ones – just don't seem to ease, running into each other, causing complications that cause even more... It a nightmare that doesn't seem to end. Pain, confusion, exhaustion, [on top of my usual] fatigue, disorientation, pure terror. All apparently starting from … Continue reading Never-Ending Nightmare →

Wonderland

Posted on by delphinemusic in Asperger, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Illness & Depression, Mental Health, pain, Ramblings

Annie sang about "Tomorrow". Everyone talks about "Tomorrow". Everybody waits for "Tomorrow". It's "only a day away"... Right? But what if tomorrow never comes? And if you think is has, it's probably just an illusion. One that shatters really easily as soon as you let your guard down. When you're vulnerable to attack. I thought … Continue reading Wonderland →