My (Nightmare) Catheter and I…

... Throwback Thought... Today, I got a call from Urology stating that the Suprapubic Surgery I have been waiting Two Years For has been Cancelled — Four Days Before it was due (20th March 2020). Due To The Coronavirus Pandemonium. This was after waiting One Year to see the consultant — on 14th February 2019 — then having to be forced through THREE Pre-Operative Appointments (the first being in May 2019) and a … Continue reading My (Nightmare) Catheter and I…


I go through this Crap-Ass Existence in as much silence as possible these days... It’s easier, because writing about it requires Processing that I cannot manage anymore — a fact which hurts me and depresses me, because I’ve always used writing to deal with things my entire life... BUT this time, I feel things have … Continue reading BETRAYED — BY CORONAVIRUS & NHS

Borderline Personality Curiosity…

| 23°C | I Still Can’t Quite Process This... Borderline Personality Disorder It is Imperative to know... However... ASD, Alexithymia, perhaps even BDP Itself, disallows me to be able to manage to process anything about knowing it, understanding it, or thinking about progressively accepting & researching this... Well... No there’s problem Accepting it... It explains everything OTT inside me that ASD just … Continue reading Borderline Personality Curiosity…

Surviving Trauma with ASD

My Story... My Life... The Second Time My World Imploded into PTSD... When I was 34, literally my entire world fell apart. I was so ill I couldn’t move and was in 24/7 agony from Fibromyalgia, and after 2 years of this illness and 10 years together, my partner snapped and she sent me home … Continue reading Surviving Trauma with ASD


C.A.L.L. Helpline is the Community Advice and Listening Line — a Freephone Helpline for people in Wales who need advice and support with their Mental Health... Not only this but they also have a texting option too.

JUNE 2019 — Daily Mood Chart • Disturbingly Not Good… 😔

I use Dailyo diary and mood tracking app for this: This just about says it all... 😞😖😢 When you are going through it, it's bad enough... But to see it like this... You really do get to see "in black and white" as it were... It was terrible to go through. It was a … Continue reading JUNE 2019 — Daily Mood Chart • Disturbingly Not Good… 😔


| 9°C | Overwhelmed. TMI'd up to the hilt. My Mind has been blown to pieces... and then those pieces have been blown up too.I can't even... You know, I am buzzing on the inside... I mean literally, like every cell has its own TENS machine or Thumper Wand. Too much everything. There's no time … Continue reading TMI