Category: anguish

Under Intense [Air] Pressure from Rollercoaster Isobars

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, disaster, dismal, distressed, drained, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegic Migraine, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, long COVID, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, overwhelmed, PTSD, ptsd, Ramblings, sad, sepsis, Stamina & Energy, storms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom, weather, Weather/Isobars

Fibromyalgia has narrowed my world in a way that nothing else ever has... Then it also got itself a "friend" -- Long COVID. Long COVID then went and got SEVERELY Exacerbated by Five Months of Hellish BURNOUT because of the STUPID Hospital's Treatment (or amazing lack thereof) of Lolli. Said BurnOut has rendered me... Entirely Non-Functional. In about as bad a condition as I was when I was battling SEPSIS.... But Then... Along Comes The Big Fibro Nemesis... The GODDAMNED WEATHER -- And the Rollercoaster Isobars thaat cause PAIN & Paresthesia like No Other to me.

Nemesis: Weather Vs Fibromyalgia

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, blackouts, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, despairing, disability, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, pain, weather, Weather/Isobars

Spoiler Alert:WEATHER WINS. EVERY. tIMe. March 2023 -- And Storm Larissa has hit us over here [from France, apparently] like a sledgehammer to the head. Fibromyalgia, Chronic illness, Chronic Pain... All Bring Agony & Paresthesia through my door, into my Body & Brain & Life Sudo Existence. It all crashes down onto me... Drowning Me... … Continue reading Nemesis: Weather Vs Fibromyalgia →

SEPSIS Poster Outlining Symptoms of SEPSIS from The UK Sepsis Trust

So, Apparently A&E Can’t Tell That Someone Who’s Screaming In Pain & Vomiting Continuously… IS. SERIOUSLY. ILL.

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, autistic, badthings, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, healthcare, helplessness, hospital, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, infection, inhell, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, nausea, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sensoryoverload, sepsis, spasms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, tmi, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Hospital A&E COMPLETELY Ignored the Screaming Pain &; Continuous Vomiting from one Patient in the Waiting Room - A Vulnerable Adult, with Complex Medical Conditions, with Physical & Learning Disabilities, severe back and spine complications, and Mobility Problems. We were there because the GP had been concerned enough to allow a house-call. Said GP had been SO Concerned about The Patient, she immediately took One Look at them and said in No Uncertain Terms - You Need To Get To The Hospital!

The Nightmare of Nightmares, Hemiplegia & Grinding Teeth

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, badthings, badweather, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, crushingfeels, disability, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, headache, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegia Attack, Hemiplegic Migraine, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mobility problems, morphine, overwhelmed, pain, painkillers, painsomnia, Ramblings, sensoryoverload, spasms, stress, stressed, tmi, uncomfortable, upset, weather, Weather/Isobars

[So] after Suffering Awful Nightmares through the night, I've then been Grinding my Teeth SO HARD, meaning that now -- the Right Side of my Jaw is ABSOLUTLY KILLING ME... I think it's entirely DISTRUPTED the Neuropathy in there -- So It UTTERLY, OVERWHELMINGLY, DEVESTATINGLY HURTS It's AGONY... ... I'm also starting to Get Concerned & wonder if those Nerves are being DAMAGED IRREPRABLY from it happening REALLY FREQUENTLY again...  I was SO Exhausted last night, I Wiped OUT at 12:30am -- This was after Three Days Straight of Zero Sleep Throughout The Entire Night. That's what you get when Weird-Ass Weather, Stress & High Anxiety (especially the weather at this point) comes & Kicks You All The Way Down The Huge Mountain of Horrible You Are On... Otherwise Known As A Fibro-FlareUp & The Consequences Thereof.

Black Heart Dying

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, grief, headache, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, inhell, Isolation, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, numbness, overwhelmed, panic, PTSD, ptsd, Resentment, scared, sensoryoverload, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Screaming alone inside my head Grasping desperation till I'm dead Black fingers pouring threads of war From wounds that I can no longer ignore

On a Day Like Today… Or Any Other…

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, bpd, catheter, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, districtnurses, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, headache, helplessness, Illness & Depression, independence, Stamina & Energy, suprapubic catheter

Fibromyalgia... Is a world where you’ve been making lots of plans on what you're Gona do today, tomorrow, next week.... THEN. You Move. (The Audacity!!) And probably Black out from the PAIN. With or without Screaming Sound-Effects; such is the Joy of Choice with Fibromyalgia...  (HA!... Not.)

HOW Do You Fit In Other Things When You’re Busy Being Ill…?

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, ASD, asd, Asperger, aspie, autistic, badday, badthings, caredfor, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disaster, dismal, distressed, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, inhell, irritated, lost, miserable, mobility problems, onedge, overwhelmed, ptsd, Resentment, selfawareness, selfcare, sensoryoverload, tmi, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset

Being Chronically Ill is, basically, not only having the Worst Paid Job EVER…But being stuck with it as — and as literally it gets — a life-long career, with Zero Ability of Getting Out…

Girl… Gone…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, autistic, badthings, catheter, CFS/ME, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, Gaming, grief, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, mixedfeels, numbness, outofhours, overwhelmed, pain, painsomnia, panic, personalinsights, PTSD, ptsd, Resentment, sad, scared, selfawareness, selfcare, sensoryoverload, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, techspecs, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset

I Require Resilience... Self-Sufficiency... To Claim My Own Space -- both in my own head and to others -- yet I Cannot seem to manage that even a Little Bit anymore... I Was Born With It... And I literally don't know how to live -- even exist -- without it... And B.O.Y. Am I Without It Now...