So… The Rest Of The World Finally Has To Find Out How It Feels To Be Unemployed, Housebound & Helpless…
In the blink of an eye, overnight, without warning…
Your. Entire. Life. As. You. Know. It. Has.
Covid-19 — CoronaVirus — is forcing people to face what it feels like to have your life dissolved, taken away from you, without you getting a single goddamned say in it…
One moment everything was perfectly normal, and you had nothing to worry about but normal life stuff… Then — Snap! It’s all so very suddenly just Gone…
Perhaps, now, at least, we might get a little more Empathy & Understanding when it comes with our own circumstances, given those of us who have no choice, will not be walking away when their Three Months‘ Quarantine is done.
For the last Six and a Half Years — and especially for the last three years I’ve not been able to walk at all — I’ve believed that Life has become way too surreal…
Somehow… Now… That experience and sensation has actually been surpassed even more, by the latest turn of events with the CoronaVirus Lockdown.
I think I suspect that I’m shutting down on talking, discussing, messaging, writing, blogging, right now, because I simply do not wish to acknowledge or remember what it’s like to… Exist… right now..
And I wish that was because of a stupid CoronaVirus… That’s the least interesting thing at the moment to me… If anything, the rules are everything I’ve ever wanted or dreamed of, especially as a confused child and teenager… I mean, seriously… Where the hell was this thing when I was younger?!! NO going outside! NO being around people! NO going to the shops! NO Visitors! NO Gatherings! NO Travelling! NO CROWDS! NO TOUCHING!! NO SCHOOL!!! SOCIAL DISTANCING!!
Crikey…I’d have been freaking Bouncing…!
Guess I might be one of the few Auties who’s actually Not having their lives disrupted and destroyed at the moment…? Am I one of the few people in general where life pretty much just goes on as normal…?
If I was living my life as I had been, I’d have been utterly, utterly distraught and destroyed… And I know that, because I already went through it Six and a Half Years Ago, when all this and more was taken from me, forced upon me, and annihilated life as I knew it…
It’s taken me this long to even start thinking about the possibility of Acceptance for it… And the Frustration, Resentment, Anger, Fear; they’re all still raw, alive and well…
Clearly, I’m going to get a PhD in this Isolation and Social Distancing after all the years of practice I’ve had here…! I’ve been trapped in my room, in this house, for over Five Years…
Seriously, parts of me thinks it is darkly, ironically Hilarious how people are panicking and Stockpiling (toilet roll…??! Really, crazy people?!!) at the thought of having to be isolated at home for a period of time, as of its the Apocalypse or 28 Days Later… I mean, come on, it really isn’t worth so much Drama!
It’s just 12 WEEKS people! Three MONTHS! … I’ve been doing this for 6 YEARS… And I’ve survived. Ish… And, suddenly, I’m the one looking at others with pity and distain for freaking out about doing something I just do every day…
Come and live in Our World, People…! Here, this is All. Normal…! (So just get on with it, like we do..? Like you all Expect, us to...?)
Seeing people bemoaning the fact they’re in self-isolation online, that they’re forced to not see people, forced to not work, forced to only see family over Video Call, even forced out of work because you cannot leave the house… Well… This is how I live… and I never have received any sympathies, extended support, or outreach because of it, and have clearly been expected just to… suck it up…
So… Shouldn’t. Everybody. Else. Now…?
Well, of course the answer to that is No… It wasn’t right to expect me to, and not right to expect everyone else to… But, my point is the hypocritical attitudes of people… When it was “just me”, I was ignored or pitied… Left to my own devices to just do it. It was a “Sad and Unfortunate” situation. — “Oh, dear, you poor thing… Now let me just get on with my life…”
But now it is they who are also so suddenly forced into the same situation…?
Well, now it’s suddenly up unimaginable to people that they have to so suddenly live this way… So… WHY is it only NOW all this is so TERRIBLE? It wasn’t so terrible to them when it was all forced onto me… and plenty of others who are also in the same situation.
Oh, and you know what else all us housebound and ill people didn’t do….?
“Normal” people, “Able” people, “Healthy” people… They Are All Hating This. Others are pouring and heaping their sympathies on them, wishing them well, offering support, being kind…Where they hell was all that when I was suddenly permanently housebound? Where the hell was the sympathies and kindness and understanding from people when there was no more going out or being normal ever again when I could no longer leave?
It wasn’t there, because people didn’t want to think about it, or be associated with it, or acknowledged.
Where was the extra support when my already fragile mental health was Destroyed by being room-bound, helpless, imprisoned, isolated, and really ill…? Over the YEARS…?
It wasn’t there, because they didn’t want to know. Or didn’t understand. Or if frightened them too much to think about it, or to be faced with it. Now, of course, those very people will expect (or at least hope for) the very same sympathy and support they refused to give others, when devastating illness or conditions controlled, broke, and confined those people, when they became too ill or controlled to do anything anymore...
I’m not the only one by far with lifelong or long-term chronic illness or condition that’s had scowly-faces, derogatory remarks, heavy exasperation, being told to (effectively), “buck up, it’s not that bad having to be home all day”, or people dropping out of your life because you don’t do anything or go anywhere any more..?
Now… Everybody gets to understand just what this is like — Being imprisoned within a small building. With other people. Unable to leave, unless it’s exceptional circumstances. Forced into it, because if you don’t you’re going to pay, or you’ll affect others negatively, or you’ll have to suffer the consequences by being very, very poorly…
Literally nothing about my life has changed. This is my life. Now everyone else gets to see what it’s like.
- When they’re forced to stay indoors and not leave their home.
- Imprisoned because “they’re in a vulnerable condition” & Forced to rely on others who aren’t.
- Forced into being separated from Family & Friends
- Forcibly prevented from going out to places, meeting up with friends or family.
- Forced into living on the Internet for all forms of actions, reaching out and even communicating with friends and family.
- Forced into No Travelling.
- Forced into knowing that if they left, they’re making themselves prone to being really ill or even dying.
WELCOME. TO. MY. LIFE.
WELCOME. TO. HOW. SO. MANY. PEOPLE. WITH. CHRONIC, TERMINAL, DANGEROUS, ILLNESSES & CONDITIONS. LIVE.
EVERY. FREAKING. GODDAMNED. DAY. FOREVER.
THE SELF-ISOLATERS will get to GO BACK TO NORMAL.
THEY only have to do it for a FEW MONTHS.
THE REST OF US TO WHOM THIS EXISTENCE IS OUR LIVES…
WELL… WE. NEVER. EVER. WILL.
JUST… THINK ABOUT THAT.
… Just Imagine That Was You…
So… Now, Everyone gets to live this shit… They get to understand why we’re angry, frustrated, depressed, hopeless, Helpless… Bored… you feel when in this situation…
Now, they are in the same boat…
Except, y’know… They have a set time-frame. They will get to go back to normal. They will get out again. They will be freed from this prison.