Category: Asperger

Running Through Custard & Quicksand

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, badweather, blackouts, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, drained, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, headache, healthcare, helplessness, hypervigilance, imprisonedfeels, infection, Isobars / Air-Pressure, Mental Health, miserable, morphine, nausea, numbness, overwhelmed, pain, painsomnia, Ramblings, spasms, stress, Treatments, weather, Weather/Isobars

I'm absolutely WRECKED... Feeling like I've been hit by a runaway BULLET Train, run over by a tank, then forcibly wrapped inside a boa-constrictor that has SEVERELY ELECTROCUTING giant hedgehog spikes, IMPALING Me EVERYWHERE, with NON-STOP Electrocuting Currents.... And With Each Individual Cell having its very OWN TENS Machine Attached -- on "MEGA SUPERNOVA...(!!!!!!)" Power...

SEPSIS Poster Outlining Symptoms of SEPSIS from The UK Sepsis Trust

So, Apparently A&E Can’t Tell That Someone Who’s Screaming In Pain & Vomiting Continuously… IS. SERIOUSLY. ILL.

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, autistic, badthings, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, healthcare, helplessness, hospital, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, infection, inhell, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, nausea, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sensoryoverload, sepsis, spasms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, tmi, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Hospital A&E COMPLETELY Ignored the Screaming Pain &; Continuous Vomiting from one Patient in the Waiting Room - A Vulnerable Adult, with Complex Medical Conditions, with Physical & Learning Disabilities, severe back and spine complications, and Mobility Problems. We were there because the GP had been concerned enough to allow a house-call. Said GP had been SO Concerned about The Patient, she immediately took One Look at them and said in No Uncertain Terms - You Need To Get To The Hospital!

The Nightmare of Nightmares, Hemiplegia & Grinding Teeth

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, badthings, badweather, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, crushingfeels, disability, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, headache, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegia Attack, Hemiplegic Migraine, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mobility problems, morphine, overwhelmed, pain, painkillers, painsomnia, Ramblings, sensoryoverload, spasms, stress, stressed, tmi, uncomfortable, upset, weather, Weather/Isobars

[So] after Suffering Awful Nightmares through the night, I've then been Grinding my Teeth SO HARD, meaning that now -- the Right Side of my Jaw is ABSOLUTLY KILLING ME... I think it's entirely DISTRUPTED the Neuropathy in there -- So It UTTERLY, OVERWHELMINGLY, DEVESTATINGLY HURTS It's AGONY... ... I'm also starting to Get Concerned & wonder if those Nerves are being DAMAGED IRREPRABLY from it happening REALLY FREQUENTLY again...  I was SO Exhausted last night, I Wiped OUT at 12:30am -- This was after Three Days Straight of Zero Sleep Throughout The Entire Night. That's what you get when Weird-Ass Weather, Stress & High Anxiety (especially the weather at this point) comes & Kicks You All The Way Down The Huge Mountain of Horrible You Are On... Otherwise Known As A Fibro-FlareUp & The Consequences Thereof.

Clues About Myself – I Don’t SEE Me(?!)

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, ASD, autistic, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, confused, CPTSD, dignity, disability, disassociation, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, healthcare, Hemiplegic Migraine, independence, Mental Health, PTSD, ptsd, selfawareness, selfcare, stress, trauma, trauma

I am doing something so Stupidly Mundane... But as I am doing it, it's bringing into focus something that's been a... Thing... for a Long Time for me -- but didn't actually clock-on that it WAS a Thing... Until Now. All I am doing is writing up the stupid "About You" section of a website. That's it. And that's making me realise I know Absolutely Jack Sh*t About Myself -- Subjectively, Objectively, Consciously, Subconsciously...

Where Did I Go…?

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, aspie, autistic, badthings, bpd, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, disaster, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, grief, healthcare, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, mixedfeels, personalinsights, Ramblings, selfawareness, selfcare, shower, showerchair, Stamina & Energy, stressed, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset

Singer. Songwriter. Dancer. Horse Rider. Yoga Prac,titioner. Healthcare Worker. Data Analyst. Trauma Survivor. I wasn't always like this. It slammed itself into my face, destroyed my life, dessimated the person I once was,and annihilated my body. I went from a fully-formed Adult into a barely-there Zombie... with a body held together by nothing but Pregabalin, … Continue reading Where Did I Go…? →

I WISH.com They Would Make It EASY!!

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, Asperger, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, blackouts, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, dismal, distressed, dragondisappointment, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, Illness & Depression, pain, Ramblings

Their Returns System is Horribly Convoluted, Senseless, Difficult. I am MEGA Fatigued after gruelling WEEKS of BAD Fibro-FlareUp... I have PAIN, Brain / Fibro Fog & a Head full of Cotton Balls... I am actually Blacking Out from the Exhaustion & Pain I ALREADY HAVE... and NOW I have to... Manage. This. ....?? Fibromyalgia Cares NOT for Stupid & Ridiculous RETURNS Systems...!! And. YET.....

Black Heart Dying

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, grief, headache, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, inhell, Isolation, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, numbness, overwhelmed, panic, PTSD, ptsd, Resentment, scared, sensoryoverload, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Screaming alone inside my head Grasping desperation till I'm dead Black fingers pouring threads of war From wounds that I can no longer ignore

On a Day Like Today… Or Any Other…

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, bpd, catheter, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, districtnurses, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, headache, helplessness, Illness & Depression, independence, Stamina & Energy, suprapubic catheter

Fibromyalgia... Is a world where you’ve been making lots of plans on what you're Gona do today, tomorrow, next week.... THEN. You Move. (The Audacity!!) And probably Black out from the PAIN. With or without Screaming Sound-Effects; such is the Joy of Choice with Fibromyalgia...  (HA!... Not.)