Clues About Myself – I Don’t SEE Me(?!)

I am doing something so Stupidly Mundane... But as I am doing it, it's bringing into focus something that's been a... Thing... for a Long Time for me -- but didn't actually clock-on that it WAS a Thing... Until Now. All I am doing is writing up the stupid "About You" section of a website. That's it. And that's making me realise I know Absolutely Jack Sh*t About Myself -- Subjectively, Objectively, Consciously, Subconsciously...

I WISH.com They Would Make It EASY!!

Their Returns System is Horribly Convoluted, Senseless, Difficult. I am MEGA Fatigued after gruelling WEEKS of BAD Fibro-FlareUp... I have PAIN, Brain / Fibro Fog & a Head full of Cotton Balls... I am actually Blacking Out from the Exhaustion & Pain I ALREADY HAVE... and NOW I have to... Manage. This. ....?? Fibromyalgia Cares NOT for Stupid & Ridiculous RETURNS Systems...!! And. YET.....

All Wound Up And Nowhere For It To Go…

Agitated and Jumping Inside like a Mexican Bean... Can't Settle -- no matter HOW Much I seem to want to... and obviously the MORE I WANT To ... The More Agitated=Jumping Bean I get.... (GAH!!!!!!!) ...

Just To Do One Simple Thing…

Feels like Everything is in a Fugue... Isobars aren't being Fair, Whatsoever, playing some SERIOUS RollerCoastering as of late... And. WAY. Too. Much. -- Just Stress & Exhaustion & PURE UTTER CHAOS... WANT To DO Things... But Actually Can't -- Just in some kind of Dazed Haze, unable to Think Straight... Or even in a mildly … Continue reading Just To Do One Simple Thing…

IS It Worth It…??

BAD Headache... Neck Hurts... Achey... Quite A Bit Shakey... Feeling Horrid in General... Bloated tummy... Nauseated... Feels More Like A Hangover (or what is expect one to be like)... I Am SERIOUSLY Shaking & REALY Weak… I Can Barely Move… My Head Is POUNDING… And I’m Going More Hot & Cold Like A MEGA Messed-Up Shower… This … Continue reading IS It Worth It…??

The Autie & The Allergy (Silicone, This Time)

Well. And there was me thinking the most annoying part of finding out I was Allergic To Silicone was having my [First] Suprapubic Catheter implode, after giving me one almighty skin rash that looked more like I was being burned... Huh. Apparently Not... That Realisation comes when you also realise that the red, blotchy, marked … Continue reading The Autie & The Allergy (Silicone, This Time)

The Auti & The Dentist: SO – No Emergency NHS Direct or Dentistry in North Wales…??

Right... So my face exploded - for the second time - with an abscess on a broken tooth. It's in the middle-ish of my lower left jaw bone. Literally overnight (it wasn't like this yesterday!), this time, it sprang up and doubled in size; this thing is a Monster that's already made me look somewhat … Continue reading The Auti & The Dentist: SO – No Emergency NHS Direct or Dentistry in North Wales…??

BETRAYED — BY CORONAVIRUS & NHS

I go through this Crap-Ass Existence in as much silence as possible these days... It’s easier, because writing about it requires Processing that I cannot manage anymore — a fact which hurts me and depresses me, because I’ve always used writing to deal with things my entire life... BUT this time, I feel things have … Continue reading BETRAYED — BY CORONAVIRUS & NHS