Tag: ASD

Just… Too Much.

Posted on by delphinemusic in anxiety, asthma, autistic, Autistic Burnout, badthings, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, despairing, devestated, distressed, drained, Dysphagia, Eating Disorders, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, grief, healthcare, helplessness, hospital, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, irritated, medication, Mental Health, overwhelmed, personalinsights, PTSD, ptsd, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, terrified, trauma, trauma, Treatments

Nightmares not only refuse to let me go, but seem to make a point of utterly grabbing me and drowning me... And one of the hardest things is trying to wade my way through the waking solid nightmare of Dysphagia. There's no medication that makes it easier or better, nothing I can take that might help in some way. There's actually nothing I can do to fix it, even.

STILL No Breathing Any Sigh Of Relief…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, autistic, Autistic Burnout, badday, badthings, badweather, CFS/ME, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, confused, CPTSD, despairing, devestated, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, grief, helplessness, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, infection, inhell, irritated, long COVID, memories, Mental Health, mentalhealth, mixedfeels, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sensoryoverload, stress, stressed, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, Weather/Isobars

ASPIRATED Morning Meds. Again. “As Usual”, now. Can't seem to not do this again. I am ALSO SO GODS-DAMNED EXHAUSTED actually am SERIOUSLY STRUGGLING coughing shit up now. .... With no Diaphragm.... There is very little I can do... SO STUPIDLY EXHAUSTED... Head is STILL POUNDING, STILL feeling Breathless... Had to take Ventolin because breathing couldn't Quite calm down... Pretty Sure I'm Starting A Chest Infection... More coughing, more gunk... and no relief…

Exhaustion Overload Unexplained

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, angry, anguish, anxiety, autistic, Autistic Burnout, badday, badthings, badweather, blackouts, CFS/ME, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, Diagnostics, disassociation, distressed, disturbed, drained, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, headache, healthcare, helplessness, Illness & Depression, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mentalhealth, miserable, nausea, numbness, onedge, overwhelmed, packing, pain, painkillers, paranoid, PTSD, ptsd, scared, selfawareness, sensoryoverload, Stamina & Energy, stress, suffocatingfeels, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, weather

Disorientated... All Morning, been Disorientated & Disassociated... And now I've finally realised I've got Vestibular [Migraine] Dizziness and a Thick Fugue & Haze around me - can't see things properly -- like there's a very delicate mist and I've put the wrong contact lenses in... Fibro-Flareup is Getting Worse, and it's REALLY Not Good to have to go through & endure... PAIN, Stiffness, Extra-numbness, Nausea, ZoneOuts, Exhaustion.... More.... All Making Things NOT GOOD TODAY.

Dealing With Everything I Am…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, medication, pain, PIP & ESA

Utterly Wrecked... Just Zoning In & Out Of consciousness, Hallucinations abounding... Breathing is Difficult... Been Feeling Particularly Rough... Isobars are high, but the "RollerCoaster" aspect of it makes it Utterly Unbearable when it comes to PAIN & Pain Management... as well as managing just about anything and everything else ... I am EXHAUSTED, Nauseated.... I can't drink Coffee [well, I might manage maybe 2 cups + an Espresso all day, sometimes - which is what I often drink at once, on a Normal Day] to help with Pain, Exhaustion & Brain Fog... And -Now I Have To Go And Help Lolli Finish Writing Up The PIP Form to send back Tomorrow... I'm Struggling... Having BlackOuts trying to do the PIP form for Lolli... REALLY Not Well -- Drained, Tired, Exhausted, Unfocused, Zoned Out... Disassociated, Disconnected. SUPER-FATIGUED & WRECKED....

Abscess & Absence of Community Care

Posted on by delphinemusic in anxiety, asthma, autistic, Autistic Burnout, blackouts, CFS/ME, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, CPTSD, despairing, devestated, disability, dismal, distressed, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, food, food, healthcare, Illness & Depression, nausea, numbness, overwhelmed, pain, panic, personalinsights, PTSD, ptsd, Ramblings, Resentment, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Feeling Awful, Awkward, Agitated, Overwhelmed, Lost & Confused… Nothing But Twitching, Buzzing, Vibrating, BlackOuts …. That HEAT in here is utterly Appalling… I CANNOT KEEP LUCID. I keep having BlackOuts. Everything about Fibro/Fibroplegia is going BANANAS… AND THEN SOME. The HEAT Is making this 1000x WORSE. I am struggling massively with the VERY BASIC of Basics - there is NO Functioning whatsoever. I am severely struggling with my cognition and my memory (particularly STM). I am unable to focus for Zero period of time on one thing… . I am struggling to balance and track my finances way too much now…It's becoming very Troubling. Disabling. Debilitating.

Drowning In Two Ways

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, anxiety, asthma, autistic, Autistic Burnout, badday, badthings, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, drained, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, helplessness, Illness & Depression, infection, mixedfeels, PTSD, ptsd, Stamina & Energy

Fibromyalgia, Incontinence, Pain, Fatigue. Aspirated Coffee whilst trying to take Meds - as I overcome a chest infection from the same thing. Also add Autistic Burnout and Sensory Overload, And It's a Bad Morning. 

Swallowing New Aspirations… One Serious Complication

Posted on by delphinemusic in chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, healthcare, Illness & Depression

There's been an Ongoing & Growing situation where I have been Aspirating food & fluids... Which, Quite Frankly, is getting into Terrifying Land Territory... Spent all morning after Meds being WIRED after Fearing & feeling I'd Aspirated either actual meds or coffee again... I hadn't. But the FEAR was Immense.... And it happens pretty much … Continue reading Swallowing New Aspirations… One Serious Complication →

Looking To The Past — This Was My Fight For Me

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, angry, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, autistic, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, despairing, devestated, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, medication, Mental Health, overwhelmed, stress, Treatments

https://delphinemusic.wordpress.com/about/journal-pages/3rd-july-2015/ BLOG | delphinemusic | This Was My Fight For Me Note The Date — virtually Eight Years To The Day [bar 1 month].  It’s been nearly 10 years since this was written and literally nothing has changed for disability welfare. The same said for the WOEFUL service NHS offers to people with CRIPPLING Chronic … Continue reading Looking To The Past — This Was My Fight For Me →