Category: despairing

Fibro Bunny

Posted on by delphinemusic in anxiety, autistic, blackouts, CFS/ME, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, crushingfeels, despairing, disability, disassociation, distressed, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, inhell, Isobars / Air-Pressure, long COVID, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, numbness, onedge, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sad, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, vibratingscared, weather, Weather/Isobars

This... SUPER DRAINED EXHAUSTION is Getting Seriously, Severely Out Of Hand. There's the Paresthesia Nightmare of PAIN. The Undiagnosed Long COVID that's making it impossible to even move. ... Seriously, I Just Don't Know how else to word this DEEP ... Empty & VOID inside of... Ability To Move Or Even Breathe without The Most Enormous Effort... Wasn't there before I got COVID and now it's just getting worse with each day and month that goes by...

Enduring The Days… The Relentless, Endless Days

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, badday, badthings, badweather, blackouts, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, despairing, disability, disaster, dismal, distressed, drained, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, pain, painsomnia, weather, Weather/Isobars

Unable to eat, my Fibro FlareUp is SUPERNOVA… Enough that I keep Blacking Out from the PAIN… AFTER A HORRIBLE, TORTUOUS NIGHT & MORNING OF PANIC ATTACKS….. I now find out the Lead on my charging box by bed has failed. The USB plus directly in the baby plug TOWER isn’t working. Can’t get at … Continue reading Enduring The Days… The Relentless, Endless Days →

Nemesis: Weather Vs Fibromyalgia

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, blackouts, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, despairing, disability, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, pain, weather, Weather/Isobars

Spoiler Alert:WEATHER WINS. EVERY. tIMe. March 2023 -- And Storm Larissa has hit us over here [from France, apparently] like a sledgehammer to the head. Fibromyalgia, Chronic illness, Chronic Pain... All Bring Agony & Paresthesia through my door, into my Body & Brain & Life Sudo Existence. It all crashes down onto me... Drowning Me... … Continue reading Nemesis: Weather Vs Fibromyalgia →

SEPSIS Poster Outlining Symptoms of SEPSIS from The UK Sepsis Trust

So, Apparently A&E Can’t Tell That Someone Who’s Screaming In Pain & Vomiting Continuously… IS. SERIOUSLY. ILL.

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, autistic, badthings, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, healthcare, helplessness, hospital, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, infection, inhell, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, nausea, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sensoryoverload, sepsis, spasms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, tmi, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Hospital A&E COMPLETELY Ignored the Screaming Pain &; Continuous Vomiting from one Patient in the Waiting Room - A Vulnerable Adult, with Complex Medical Conditions, with Physical & Learning Disabilities, severe back and spine complications, and Mobility Problems. We were there because the GP had been concerned enough to allow a house-call. Said GP had been SO Concerned about The Patient, she immediately took One Look at them and said in No Uncertain Terms - You Need To Get To The Hospital!

Just…. WRECKED…

Posted on by delphinemusic in autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, catheter, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, confused, crushingfeels, despairing, disability, disaster, dismal, distressed, drained, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, onedge, pain, painsomnia, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, suprapubic catheter, upset

It's Nearly 4:30pm... and only NOW do I feel like I'm even STARTING to feel like MAYBE I can manage to do something. Like, Get Out Of Bed. Try to Play a Game. I wanted to get up by 12-to-1pm -ish to try and play the end bit of Mass Effect 1 [Legendary] for the … Continue reading Just…. WRECKED… →

Where Did I Go…?

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, asd, Asperger, aspie, autistic, badthings, bpd, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, disaster, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, grief, healthcare, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, mixedfeels, personalinsights, Ramblings, selfawareness, selfcare, shower, showerchair, Stamina & Energy, stressed, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset

Singer. Songwriter. Dancer. Horse Rider. Yoga Prac,titioner. Healthcare Worker. Data Analyst. Trauma Survivor. I wasn't always like this. It slammed itself into my face, destroyed my life, dessimated the person I once was,and annihilated my body. I went from a fully-formed Adult into a barely-there Zombie... with a body held together by nothing but Pregabalin, … Continue reading Where Did I Go…? →

Black Heart Dying

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, grief, headache, helplessness, hypervigilance, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, inhell, Isolation, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, numbness, overwhelmed, panic, PTSD, ptsd, Resentment, scared, sensoryoverload, Stamina & Energy, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Screaming alone inside my head Grasping desperation till I'm dead Black fingers pouring threads of war From wounds that I can no longer ignore

On a Day Like Today… Or Any Other…

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, bpd, catheter, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disassociation, dismal, distressed, districtnurses, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, headache, helplessness, Illness & Depression, independence, Stamina & Energy, suprapubic catheter

Fibromyalgia... Is a world where you’ve been making lots of plans on what you're Gona do today, tomorrow, next week.... THEN. You Move. (The Audacity!!) And probably Black out from the PAIN. With or without Screaming Sound-Effects; such is the Joy of Choice with Fibromyalgia...  (HA!... Not.)