Tag: miserable

Under Intense [Air] Pressure from Rollercoaster Isobars

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, disaster, dismal, distressed, drained, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegic Migraine, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, long COVID, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, overwhelmed, PTSD, ptsd, Ramblings, sad, sepsis, Stamina & Energy, storms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom, weather, Weather/Isobars

Fibromyalgia has narrowed my world in a way that nothing else ever has... Then it also got itself a "friend" -- Long COVID. Long COVID then went and got SEVERELY Exacerbated by Five Months of Hellish BURNOUT because of the STUPID Hospital's Treatment (or amazing lack thereof) of Lolli. Said BurnOut has rendered me... Entirely Non-Functional. In about as bad a condition as I was when I was battling SEPSIS.... But Then... Along Comes The Big Fibro Nemesis... The GODDAMNED WEATHER -- And the Rollercoaster Isobars thaat cause PAIN & Paresthesia like No Other to me.

The Nightmare of Nightmares, Hemiplegia & Grinding Teeth

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, badthings, badweather, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, crushingfeels, disability, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, headache, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegia Attack, Hemiplegic Migraine, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mobility problems, morphine, overwhelmed, pain, painkillers, painsomnia, Ramblings, sensoryoverload, spasms, stress, stressed, tmi, uncomfortable, upset, weather, Weather/Isobars

[So] after Suffering Awful Nightmares through the night, I've then been Grinding my Teeth SO HARD, meaning that now -- the Right Side of my Jaw is ABSOLUTLY KILLING ME... I think it's entirely DISTRUPTED the Neuropathy in there -- So It UTTERLY, OVERWHELMINGLY, DEVESTATINGLY HURTS It's AGONY... ... I'm also starting to Get Concerned & wonder if those Nerves are being DAMAGED IRREPRABLY from it happening REALLY FREQUENTLY again...  I was SO Exhausted last night, I Wiped OUT at 12:30am -- This was after Three Days Straight of Zero Sleep Throughout The Entire Night. That's what you get when Weird-Ass Weather, Stress & High Anxiety (especially the weather at this point) comes & Kicks You All The Way Down The Huge Mountain of Horrible You Are On... Otherwise Known As A Fibro-FlareUp & The Consequences Thereof.

Just To Do One Simple Thing…

Posted on by delphinemusic in ASD, asd, Asperger, badweather, dismal, distressed, drained, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Isobars / Air-Pressure, weather, Weather/Isobars

Feels like Everything is in a Fugue... Isobars aren't being Fair, Whatsoever, playing some SERIOUS RollerCoastering as of late... And. WAY. Too. Much. -- Just Stress & Exhaustion & PURE UTTER CHAOS... WANT To DO Things... But Actually Can't -- Just in some kind of Dazed Haze, unable to Think Straight... Or even in a mildly … Continue reading Just To Do One Simple Thing… →

JUNE 2019 — Daily Mood Chart • Disturbingly Not Good… 😔

Posted on by delphinemusic in anxiety, despairing, dragondisappointment, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, overwhelmed, panic, Ramblings

I use Dailyo diary and mood tracking app for this: https://www.daylio.net This just about says it all... 😞😖😢 When you are going through it, it's bad enough... But to see it like this... You really do get to see "in black and white" as it were... It was terrible to go through. It was a … Continue reading JUNE 2019 — Daily Mood Chart • Disturbingly Not Good… 😔 →

TMI

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anxiety, ASD, chaos, Chronic Pain, despairing, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, frustration, helplessness, sensoryoverload, stressed, tmi

| 9°C | Overwhelmed. TMI'd up to the hilt. My Mind has been blown to pieces... and then those pieces have been blown up too.I can't even... You know, I am buzzing on the inside... I mean literally, like every cell has its own TENS machine or Thumper Wand. Too much everything. There's no time … Continue reading TMI →

A Futile Fibro Flare-Up Day…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, ASD, Asperger, aspie, catheter, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, despairing, disability, dismal, dragondisappointment, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, Gaming, healthcare, helplessness, Illness & Depression, Isobars / Air-Pressure, lost, Mental Health, miserable, pain, sad, Skyrim, stress, weather

I’m in no shape of, or for, anything. Done naught but a few words in Daylio and Jouney Journal, then blindly and mindlessly poking around the internet a little... It’s horrible outside. Cold, rainy, high Humidity. The isobars are decent-ish at 1016mb. I’m so cold... But I can’t move, and in too much pain to do anything about it...

Catheter Chaos • Boots Discrimination Discomfort…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Alexithymia, anxiety, aspie, catheter, Chronic Pain, dignity, disability, dismal, dragondisappointment, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, irritated, Resentment, sad, stressed, suffocatingfeels, upset

Temp | 11°C The Catheter just came out again... It lasted only 6 Days, this time... 😳😔☹️ It’s so annoying, having to undo all the straps and sort through all the tubing, and whatnots, when disposing of a shoved-out Catheter. Then there’s the Dragon of Disappointment, and all the other damn “emotions” and crushing, suffocating “feels” that … Continue reading Catheter Chaos • Boots Discrimination Discomfort… →

Anxiety & Chaos — The Antithesis of the Aspie Mind…

Posted on by delphinemusic in ASD, Asperger, chronic illness, disability, Fibromyalgia, Illness & Depression, Isolation, Mental Health, mobility problems, Ramblings

Anxiety and Chaos rules my mind. It feels like it's been long buried under mountains of agonising pain, sorrow, grief. Fibro-Fog, medication, and more and more Chaos and Anxiety. I can feel my mind still there, calling, struggling to be freed, to be heard... yet, there seems to be so little I can do about digging it back out.