Been STARING at Twitter for… Two Hours?… And yeh, I’ll ADMIT it!!… … …
… I keep MOVING the Timer I have on it…It’s going further and further back every time it goes off on me, on days like this.(!)
Really, those things don’t work when you’ve got MAJOR Serious Brain Fog from PAIN, (C)PTSD, Insomnia, Painsomnia, Hypersomnia (usually all together, at once, having a party in your head, without your permission…), Nightmares, PURE & UTTERLY OVERWHELMING Exhaustion & Fatigue, Quietly-Suspected Long-COVID & MAJOR Autistic Burnout, and a MEGA Bad Fibro-FlareUp…
And basically, Fibro Flareup is feeling exactly like You’re Running Through Custard & Quicksand… Whilst ALSO being attacked by hammers, smacked by tree-branches, kicked and smashed by steel-toed hobnail boots, being madly-electrocuted, poked randomly by cattle-prods
So.
I’m absolutely WRECKED... Feeling like I’ve been hit by a runaway BULLET Train, run over by a tank, then forcibly wrapped inside a boa-constrictor that has SEVERELY ELECTROCUTING giant hedgehog spikes, IMPALING Me EVERYWHERE, with NON-STOP Electrocuting Currents…. And With Each Individual Cell having its very OWN TENS Machine Attached — on “MEGA SUPERNOVA…(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)” Power…
Isobars are HORRIBLE… Weather out there is HORRIBLE..
Air pressure DROPPING from 1007mb this morning to 997mb by 12am…
And More Isobars Misery over the weekend, too, plummeting to a soul-destroying 986mb by Sunday...
Y’ know… Gods — I REALLY don’t HOW I am Going to DEAL or MANAGE Actually Physically & Emotionally & Mentally Cope with this – the way that this keeps Going... The PAIN keeps getting Worse, the BlackOuts & ZoneOuts are Getting Worse, the Stiffness & Inability To Move is Worsethan it’s been in a LONG Time, now….
My Mental Health is bordering on BASKET CASE….
It might even be Beyond That, By now.
Autistic Burnout is JUST THAT… BURNT. OUT. I feel Utterly Dead on the inside – Hollow. A Non-Person…
My Back Keeps Spasming and pulling me backwards — it’s Painful… Can’t move — It’s WAY Too Painful… Breathing Really SHOULD BE Optional... HATE The Fact I have to KEEP Breathing all the time when my body doesn’t seem to have much interest in making it possible…
My Ears are blocked enough to leave me virtually deaf in my left ear and it sound like everything is underwater…. And My Eyes can’t retain focus, feels like I’m existing in a dream-world, and feel like there’s acid and sandpaper constantly in them.
I spent MOST Of Yesterday Blacking-Out. Today – I Am Just MEGA ZONED OUT. I am SO SO SO TIRED… SO SO SO SO NOT OK… Just — VACANT & STRUGGLING…
Lolli vomited her pain meds for the first time since getting better from the Infection(s). She also didn’t sleep much of anything last night and is making up for it now. No idea what’s going on but It Is Utterly Horrible for her, and for me.
Neither of us have been interested in anything – food, fluids, doing anything…
I have drunk ZERO of my coffee, except take Meds…THAT’S Just How BAD It Is … …
Random Thing:
I keep taking my Vitamin K — which has ALWAYS worked before — and I’m still getting Breakthrough Bleeding in my Nose, Eyes, Gums. It’s Annoying — nothing more. Apparently, Vitamin K isn’t enough to sustain Decent Clotting in this environment — well, actually, not sure if ANYTHING that’s any good is actually sustainable in this Environment…
I have TXA (Transexamix Acid) Pills, but they’re Not QUITE the same as the Vit-K and not sure how it’ll go (better? worse? nothing?), and I’m not especially in the mood for any possible side effects turning up, either.
Haven’t actually taken that stuff in about 20 years… and even then the most Meds I was on was Flixotide, for Asthma.
Obviously — the RIGHT Answer is, Get Your Shit Together; STOP the CRAZY STRESS that’s Causing Your Blood To Literally FALL APART….!!
