Tag: Agony

Under Intense [Air] Pressure from Rollercoaster Isobars

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, anguish, anxiety, autistic, badday, badthings, badweather, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, disaster, dismal, distressed, drained, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegic Migraine, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, long COVID, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, overwhelmed, PTSD, ptsd, Ramblings, sad, sepsis, Stamina & Energy, storms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, uncomfortable, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom, weather, Weather/Isobars

Fibromyalgia has narrowed my world in a way that nothing else ever has... Then it also got itself a "friend" -- Long COVID. Long COVID then went and got SEVERELY Exacerbated by Five Months of Hellish BURNOUT because of the STUPID Hospital's Treatment (or amazing lack thereof) of Lolli. Said BurnOut has rendered me... Entirely Non-Functional. In about as bad a condition as I was when I was battling SEPSIS.... But Then... Along Comes The Big Fibro Nemesis... The GODDAMNED WEATHER -- And the Rollercoaster Isobars thaat cause PAIN & Paresthesia like No Other to me.

SEPSIS Poster Outlining Symptoms of SEPSIS from The UK Sepsis Trust

So, Apparently A&E Can’t Tell That Someone Who’s Screaming In Pain & Vomiting Continuously… IS. SERIOUSLY. ILL.

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, autistic, badthings, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, concerned, confused, CPTSD, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, dignity, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, frustration, furious, healthcare, helplessness, hospital, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, independence, infection, inhell, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, nausea, overwhelmed, pain, PTSD, ptsd, sensoryoverload, sepsis, spasms, stress, stressed, suffocatingfeels, terrified, tmi, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared, waitingfordoom

Hospital A&E COMPLETELY Ignored the Screaming Pain &; Continuous Vomiting from one Patient in the Waiting Room - A Vulnerable Adult, with Complex Medical Conditions, with Physical & Learning Disabilities, severe back and spine complications, and Mobility Problems. We were there because the GP had been concerned enough to allow a house-call. Said GP had been SO Concerned about The Patient, she immediately took One Look at them and said in No Uncertain Terms - You Need To Get To The Hospital!

The Nightmare of Nightmares, Hemiplegia & Grinding Teeth

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, anguish, anxiety, ASD, asd, autistic, badthings, badweather, chaos, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, concerned, confused, crushingfeels, disability, dismal, distressed, disturbed, drained, drowningfeels, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, headache, healthcare, helplessness, Hemiplegia Attack, Hemiplegic Migraine, Illness & Depression, imprisonedfeels, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mobility problems, morphine, overwhelmed, pain, painkillers, painsomnia, Ramblings, sensoryoverload, spasms, stress, stressed, tmi, uncomfortable, upset, weather, Weather/Isobars

[So] after Suffering Awful Nightmares through the night, I've then been Grinding my Teeth SO HARD, meaning that now -- the Right Side of my Jaw is ABSOLUTLY KILLING ME... I think it's entirely DISTRUPTED the Neuropathy in there -- So It UTTERLY, OVERWHELMINGLY, DEVESTATINGLY HURTS It's AGONY... ... I'm also starting to Get Concerned & wonder if those Nerves are being DAMAGED IRREPRABLY from it happening REALLY FREQUENTLY again...  I was SO Exhausted last night, I Wiped OUT at 12:30am -- This was after Three Days Straight of Zero Sleep Throughout The Entire Night. That's what you get when Weird-Ass Weather, Stress & High Anxiety (especially the weather at this point) comes & Kicks You All The Way Down The Huge Mountain of Horrible You Are On... Otherwise Known As A Fibro-FlareUp & The Consequences Thereof.

Just To Do One Simple Thing…

Posted on by delphinemusic in ASD, asd, Asperger, badweather, dismal, distressed, drained, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Isobars / Air-Pressure, weather, Weather/Isobars

Feels like Everything is in a Fugue... Isobars aren't being Fair, Whatsoever, playing some SERIOUS RollerCoastering as of late... And. WAY. Too. Much. -- Just Stress & Exhaustion & PURE UTTER CHAOS... WANT To DO Things... But Actually Can't -- Just in some kind of Dazed Haze, unable to Think Straight... Or even in a mildly … Continue reading Just To Do One Simple Thing… →

FUTURE SELF (where DID you go…?)

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, Alexithymia, anguish, ASD, asd, CPTSD, despairing, devestated, disassociation, dismal, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drowningfeels, Fibromyalgia, grief, imprisonedfeels, inhell, Mental Health, mentalhealth, miserable, numbness, selfawareness, trauma, trauma, uncertainty, upset

Guardian Story — ‘At 21 I have no regrets’: I just got an email from myself, a decade ago... And. Well. Wow... Good for them... But... Me? I'm glad my 31yo self Did NOT write to my 41yo self {me, now} Because Reading It Back... Would have been utterly soul-destroying... I think the things I … Continue reading FUTURE SELF (where DID you go…?) →

Fibro FlareUps & Clueless Weather

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, badweather, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, Isobars / Air-Pressure, mixedfeels, overwhelmed, pain, painsomnia, personalinsights, uncertainty, uncomfortable, weather, Weather/Isobars, weird

Isobars Are Hitting Again... More RollerCoaster Disasters Coming Right Up... Whilst The Weather & Air Pressure Fail To Decide On What In All Hell's Name They're Going To Do Next... (We know it as "Springtime"... But apparently the Weather Gods are, Quite Frankly, Utterly Clueless... Clearly...) Feel like I got Run Over by a Tank, … Continue reading Fibro FlareUps & Clueless Weather →

Pain… SUCKS…

Posted on by delphinemusic in Agony, chronic illness, Chronic Pain, Chronic Paraesthesia, exhaustion, fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, Illness & Depression, pain, Ramblings

My Back is… SCREAMING… I can barely breathe… I had to Contain My Screams to even SIT UP IN BED… Nauseated & Vibrating from the sheer amount of AGONY it’s causing right now… I’ve been passing out from it, unable to wake up — so I’ve forced myself to Get Out of Bed to the floor to stop me doing it AGAIN (Again…)… My Spot (for sitting) has vanished under a pile of……. Utter Crap… Worse than … Continue reading Pain… SUCKS… →

My (Nightmare) Catheter and I…

Posted on by delphinemusic in aggitated, Agony, Alexithymia, angry, anguish, anxiety, ASD, Asperger, catheter, concerned, crushingfeels, despairing, devestated, disability, disaster, distressed, disturbed, dragondisappointment, drained, drowningfeels, exasperation, exhaustion, fatigue, feelsick, Fibromyalgia, Fibroplegia, frustration, furious, grief, healthcare, helplessness, imprisonedfeels, infection, lost, Mental Health, mentalhealth, numbness, overwhelmed, panic, Resentment, sad, scared, stressed, suffocatingfeels, suprapubic catheter, terrified, trauma, uncertainty, upset, vibratingscared

... Throwback Thought... Today, I got a call from Urology stating that the Suprapubic Surgery I have been waiting Two Years For has been Cancelled — Four Days Before it was due (20th March 2020). Due To The Coronavirus Pandemonium. This was after waiting One Year to see the consultant — on 14th February 2019 — then having to be forced through THREE Pre-Operative Appointments (the first being in May 2019) and a … Continue reading My (Nightmare) Catheter and I… →