Few Clouds, 14°C
I not OK. Got woken up by doggies barking wildly after terrible sleep & Nightmares.
Feeling scared, vulnerable, dread. I don’t like any of this. This is how I felt when I had occocuses.
I miss my iPad. It was my friend. I talked to it, via this app or WordPress, or Dailyo. The Phone isn’t quite the same. That was Boo’s iPad. No other will be that. And now, I don’t even know what’s happening to it. Or what’s going to happen to it. I don’t like that either.
I’m in another Hell after yesterday. It was a big day and a long day. Now, I am suffering greatly for it, indeed… 😓😢🥺😖😳😟😣 I didn’t even get to have Squishes this morning, because Mam scared me. I got startled awake by the dogs, who kept on barking, an nobody was answering my Hangout texts. At least they answer the iMessages ones…
I got so scared, then the pain flared up into far too much, and then became No Touch. So, they threw that one out the window for me too… 🥺😖😟😣😢😢😢
So, now I hurt. In pain inside and out. My body and Feels really harming me 😢😢😢
My hand is irritating me now, too… (See pics). The feels are of burning and the scabs are flaking and are getting caught. I don’t want to take them off, in case I hurt myself without realising.
Also, the Right Shoulder is hurting me, and I’ve been scratching at it… Another one under way at all…? 🥺😟
Right now I am in agony and feeling Utterly Resentful at how much I am forced to rely on unreliable people for my basic needs and pain control. I am Vulnerable. Helpless. Reliant.
Needed Squishies from Mam and I got none.
Needed a shower yesterday to undo the pain I now have to endure instead, because no one has come to get me a usable shower yet.
There’s no Self Respect. No Dignity. There can be No Shame, otherwise you’die inside so very completely.
It takes nearly a day of morohine boosters to get me anywhere.