Clues About Myself – I Don’t SEE Me(?!)

I am doing something so Stupidly Mundane… But as I am doing it, it’s bringing into focus something that’s been a… Thing… for a Long Time for me — but didn’t actually clock-on that it WAS a Thing… Until Now.

All I am doing is writing up the stupid “About You” section of a website. That’s it. And that’s making me realise I know Absolutely Jack Sh*t About Myself At. ALL…(!) Subjectively, Objectively, Consciously, Subconsciously

I am literally having to look around my surroundings, in my room, to determine who I am; what my Interests are…

And to be honest, I’m still Utterly Clueless, even though I am finding enough to add to my Profile.

Seriously — I am Hopeless at this… I Mean — You truly cannot Imagine how long it took me to TRY & Write something vaguely coherent (I said Vaguely!) in the About Me Sections. They’re built up of newer ones constantly being remade when life changes; when things about Me changes, trying to work it all out….


This Is What I Came Up With In The End… Took A LOT Of Time And Thinking To Get Just THIS Far….!

I even had to use the Home Page of this Blog to help me along in it…(!)

I Got This into the Box labelled “Interests”:

Gaming, Goth, Coffee, Blogging, Writing, Reading, Computers, Technology, Unofficial IT Tech Support, Music, Singing, Digital Art, Animals, Dogs, Cats, Research, Data Analysis, Databases, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Spreadsheets, wheelchair dancing, dancing, ice skating, movies, TV True Crime Series, Big Bang Theory, Friends (TV Show)

This didn’t used to be the case — Never to This Extent [anyway]…

The Immense Collective Trauma of what I have been through in this Last Decade, has been enough to seemingly Destroy the Person I was AND All Her Coding, Her Memories, Her Soul.

I have had to Effectively Start All Over Again. From the VERY Beginning. I was in no better state than a potty-trained Toddler after my complete Wreckage of a Nervous Breakdown.

I Lost Everything I Was and I’ve been Rebuilding Ever Since.

But I am nevertheless continued to be surprised that I STILL need to think and consider these things now.

That I am yet still an alien to myself.


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