I do find it inexplicably difficult to deal with the weather, the air pressure, the atmospheric changes, especially right here were he live – where some of the worst weather in all the of the UK ends up. Its all so badly variable, it affects me so detrimentally, it takes away what little life I have.
This time, the isobars are down to 1007mb, having plummeted down from 1027mb. That’s a heck of a plumet in less than a day. Despite it actually technically be very hot yesterday, and it’s still very warm today, the isobar pressure being so low has hit me like dumpster truck doing a hundred. I’ve had everything I possibly can today, and yet I’m still really unwell because of it.
I didn’t sleep a wink all last ight because it make me so ill. Then this afternoon I just crashed out, practically unconscious for hours. This thing once agian has knocked me sideways and I’m really wary and afraid of what it can do, and how ill it can make me.
I think I’ve had some sorg of Hemiplegic migraine flareup, but it’s only severely affected my eyesight in my right eye, where the sight is completely distorted, like the lens has fallen out (it hasn’t!). In and of itself, it’s also giving me a headache, because having quite badly blurred and distorted vision in one eye makes it impossible to see anything. Usually, this comes with the paralysis, but apart from the “now-normal” weakness and numbness in my right extremities, there’s nothing extra. Not anymore – my usual stuff helped most other complications, like severe neuropathy/paraplegia and spasms, quite a lot. But the distorted vision in my right eye will not leave.
I’ve been feeling so scared, confused and, frankly, completely weary, dazed and depressed, I’ve no idea of the time, the day, and unable to do anything because I can’t really see anything properly. It’s distressing and frustrating to have things like this thrown at you day after day after day… when all you want to do is just get up and be yourself again. It’s hard don’t to feel hopeless generally, but when you have the really bad days, it feels almost confusing because you just don’t know how to deal with it.
Like today. Like yesterday. Just situations that – because the weather seems to make all the choices here – I don’t know how to deal with them.