You know how you just have those days where they’re just so rubbish, you wonder why you bother? Yeh… One of those days.
I’ve been nauseated, exhausted, drained all day. I’ve felt horrible, really under the weather, and suffered with that uneasy feeling of really strong nausea, which hasn’t really left me all day, even though it’s died down a little since this morning at least. I couldn’t even finish my morning coffee it was so bad.
I’ve been trying to help my friend write up an important appeal against someone who did something quite bad to her at work, so I’m even more exhausted now. I’ve been working on and off on that for a long time, helping her to submit this and that about what’s going on and what is wrong and how, etc. Helped her with one more part of it today. It’s all going to go on for a few more weeks yet, I think, too. It has felt like I’ve been back at work… and I’m remembering why I had to leave… the pure draining exhaustion and pain from such a thing is quite unimaginable, and I could not do this all day every day again in this state.
I’ve also got a horrible ant problem in the house (OK… teeny flat). We pay enough per month to the landlord via an agency, and I expect them to sort out someone to come when there’s a bloody any farm under the floorboards, with them swarming into my kitchen from a hole under the boiler. We went down the whole ant-powder, seal things off road too long back now… instead we still have to face swarms of ants – and much worse – flying ants(!) through the kitchen and some in the rest of the house. They’re just flying about, crawling over things, over me, over the washing, the floor… It’s disgusting, it’s horrible and icky, they’re gross, vile, creepy, awful… and they’re not going away. For all those who die there are plenty of others to take their place. It’s just impossible.
The dog tries to do his part, bless him, and goes and eats all those that come anywhere near him. I’ve found the only thing that puts them off is kitchen cleaning chemicals, like Mr Muscle. They also don’t like Vanish, and the house now always stinks of this stuff. And now I do too… When I was spraying Vanish on them just now, the lid of the spray somehow came off and fell, pouring itself all over my dress. Now I stink of the bloody stuff… and I only just put this dress on clean! Will have to go and find another one… Good thing it’s literally the only dress I can actually get off by myself. If it was one of my other ones I would be stuck in it until help came!
I’ve emailed the landlord agency. Over and over again. I’ve been ignored since Friday – it’s the Wednesday after now, and my last email from them was last Friday. They just signed up to this council “good landlord” registration scheme… so far they’re not exactly taking it very seriously, I feel. This has been going on since June – my first email was 26th June. It’s now 15th July and still nothing… It’s not exactly good service for a crapload of money per month for rent. Maybe it’s because my old(er) iPad doesn’t take very good indoor pictures that they don’t really believe me… ants are too damn small – meaning they don’t show up very well – if at all – on 5MP cameras. It’d be a different story if they came here though…
Right now, I just want to go and bury my head in some sand and not come back out until the summer is over and those damn ants are gone. Perhaps the pain will have gone by then too. And the nausea…